Everything is okay, thank you. "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.”
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I can't concentrate today. I guess being drunk two nights in a row isn't helping much..
Last night I went to the "Why?" concert. I don't know what concerts do to my body and mind, but it just drives me to live my life completely through music. I just want to play music.. all the time.. I've been having the best musical experiences lately, just SO many opportunities to play with others.. It's a sign! I must start playing more! :)
No new news I guess.. I'm moving into the blue house with Devon and this boy named Chris. Chris has a drum set! Chris plays music! OH! Ask me if I'm excited! My good friend Kalin and I made this great experimental song.. Actually, we're stilll working on it, but it's turning out great! We've spent 10 hours already recording this song..
I love this life right now. I love everyone in it. I could use a lot more of people though..
Friday, October 2, 2009
Hayley knows who I am, even though I'm feeling very grounded right now:
I am going away for a while I'll be back don't try and follow me I'll return as soon as possible See I'm tryin' to find my place It might not be here where I feel safe We all learn to make mistakes,
And run from them From them With no direction We'll run from them From them With no direction
I'm just one of those ghosts Traveling endlessly Don't need no road In fact they follow me And we just go in circles
Now I'm told that this is life Pain is just a simple compromise So we can we get what we want out of it Someone care to classify Broken hearts and twisted minds So i can find, someone to rely on,
And run to them to them Full speed ahead Oh you are not Useless We are just
Misguided ghosts Traveling endlessly The ones we trusted the most Pushed us far away And there's no one role We should not be the same I'm just a ghost And still they echo me They echo me in circles.
Cigarette, coffee, blog.. I could get used to this.. The economy has shot my hours at work down and it's fall break. I have the day off from school AND work. I don't know what to do! But it feels great because I've been wanting to do nothing for a long time.. Time away from work makes me appreciate it even more. Last night I had to close, but it's okay because I had Sarah and other fun people to dance the night away with.
I've been complimenting so many people lately and it's pretty fun! I just hope they don't hear me compliment another person so they don't think it's sincere. But! There is so much beauty in people.. I love saying hi to people that come into my work, because you can tell some people don't really go out and when you actually acknowledge them, they beam or they shy away.. It's cute though because sometimes you get into conversation and you learn a lot about people's emotions and personality. People are SO interesting to me.
It's funny because I had so much to write about this morning, when I was walking into my house ideas were just flooding me.. I guess I couldn't get to my computer in time.. My parents have been out of town, so Devon and I have been taking advantage of a bed and a fridge. We're usually cramped onto a twin sized bed, shivering all night, or sweating profusely. Here's a rant, Devon dyed her hair yesterday.. white. It looks SO amazing! I've been wanting to do something new to my body too.. Like a new piercing or something.. I don't want to cut my hair cause I'm losing it, so I'm trying to keep as much strands on my head as I can. I knew I was going to have problems in my life, but I didn't know balding was going to be one. haha It's okay, I'll just look like an adult baby..
On another note, I've been obsessed with elle's pictures lately. Jamie King is beautiful. When I become well known for music, I hope someone will ask me to do photo shoots like this:
"Tell yourself that you are healthy and balanced, and energy will come." Thank you Alandra, happy travels, I'll be writing you soon. :)
It's too early to be writing, but it's such a beautiful morning. My thoughts are ridiculous today. It brings me back to this time two years ago. I had just got my wisdom teeth out and I was very sick, but there was so much love. I miss it. I miss people I have lost. Due to me or due to you, I'm not sure yet.. There has been lots of time to think and lots of time to understand. Now my thoughts are haunting me. "I want to see you. I probably won't. I want to feel you. You probably don't." -My friend Hannah
It's so great to change, and so great is the change. I feel more humble and self reserved. I think before I speak, and I think before I act. Life is a big wave and I just let the current take me where it needs me to be. I'm here, I'm alive, and I am comfortable. Maybe too comfortable. Laying here in a log bed with the sun in my eyes.. too many cigarettes and coffee in my blood.
I think it's time I find more passion in the things I do. More time for music and more time for writing.. I don't want to lose the things I admire about myself. I will not let work and school overwhelm me anymore, because that feeling is a waste of time.
I've been thinking about grudges lately and how pointless they are. A lot of people learn by experience not stories, I'm one of them. I follow my heart a little too much not realizing the outcome.. I was reading a magazine the other day when this quote came along: "I've had few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing." -Buddy Hackett
This song is on repeat in my head and in my room: Try not to watch the cheesy video haha (and of course it's a lesbian movie.. jeez)
